Well, it happens all the time. Only each time, you think: I can’t do this. Anymore.

But you do. Because that’s what you do. That’s what humans do, every which way and in all states of mind and body.

We have the capacity to start again, whether that means picking up where we left off, like a thread lost — or whether we must indeed re-build from the ground up, after catastrophe or death.

All these things have come my way in the last 24 hours, one way or another. My stuff, but stuff too surrounding people I care very much about.

1) in a sudden and unexpected shift, the CGM now seems to be serving a purpose. Several times a day E looks at it when he wonders what he is. Saves him two or three finger pricks a day. Looks at it in lessons, out of interest and for reassurance, he says. He says, it’s worth it already. And I’m stunned. And so we start to look up, start again.

2) one of my very dearest friends has undergone a freak event at her old childhood home in the States: a tiny tornado destroyed it, when the whole family was sitting at dinner. No one was injured, but how do you know where to start? I guess the answer is, you start again. She knows I’m thinking of her, but in case she forgets: I am.

3) and a long-time friend and colleague of OH died peacefully two nights ago. Perhaps mercifully quickly, given the situation. But we feel for his family, and thank him for his friendship and real gentleness in life.

So. It’s been a time to reflect. On what is possible. How hard sometimes it is to get there, and to know this, not to speak of just plain carry on. But here we are.

Today it has been cloudy mostly, warm. And this evening, the sun manages to break through. Time to water the pots. You have to work at it everyday, but the rewards are of course flowers.

Pots in my garden

My hanging basket!

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